A MAFS couple have officially called it quits and it's not who you think
We’re still recovering from the epic douche-baggery that was Monday’s commitment ceremony episode and yet somehow are fully thrown back in with into it on Tuesday.
How you ask? With the couples literally turning the others into personal butlers for something called 'Yes Day/Week'.
How could it go wrong?
Things track along for the first quarter or so of the episode in typical MAFS fashion - Ryan gets a tattoo which he claims is of Davina but is obvi just trying to get in her good books, meanwhile Davina and Dean are sexting.
Then, quite suddenly, Telv makes the mistake of letting Sarah use his phone.
Sarah immediately notices dating apps like Happn and Plenty of Fish.
“I know what that one is!” she says pulling the phone from his reach.
“I don’t know what’s in there. It’s a very old phone,” says Telv, to which women everywhere just laugh.
Sarah, bless, her, thinks this is a real marriage and doesn’t understand why he hasn’t immediately deleted all and any dating apps.
“Is this how you really are?” she says before broaching the subject of cheating, and forgetting the fact that they’ve known each other for a matter of weeks.
Smash cut to Mat and Alycia with the tradie spewing an obviously rehearsed line after cornering his 'wife' in a secluded alleyway:
“You’ve come here looking for love, as have I," he starts off.
“I’ve got some issues I’ve been dealing with… I don’t see the point in going on.”
“I think it’s in everyone’s best interest that we leave the experiment… My heart’s just not in this at all.”
“There’s a guy out there for you I can guarantee it… but it’s just not me unfortunately”
TBH, we're not sure he gave it a red hot go at all.
And then Telv goes rudey-nudey (with a “dad bod”) in an apron despite the fact we're pretty sure these apartments are rented as furnished so… please bleach clean the chairs... 'kay?
If we thought it wasn’t going to get more full on than a near full frontal, we were so wrong.
‘Cause Davina and Dean have just gone out on a date behind their partners' (Ryan and Tracey) backs.
And poor Tracey seems 100 per cent oblivious to Dean’s 'I’m excited about me and Davina, she's hot etc.' talk, in fact, she thinks he’s ready to give the relo a really good go.
She even tells Gab that she feels respected.
There’s leg rubbing, there’s complimenting, there’s hair touching and it’s a little nauseating while mixed in with footage of Tracey telling Gab how she feels better about Dean.
“I’ve got goose bumps,” Gab says, foreshadowing the looming disaster.
“I don’t know why the experts have done what they’ve done,” Dean says oblivious to the fact he’s on a TV show that relies on manufactured drama.
They decide to not tell anyone they’ve been seeing each other until after the next commitment ceremony.
It all feels very evil. Davina is even wearing black leather:
One thing we know for sure, if he still hooks up with Tracey… we’re going to need to have a one-on-one chat with Ol Deano.
P.S. Dean doesn’t remove the seeds and white filament before cooking capsicum and we have feelings:
Image: MAFS / Channel 9
ENOUGH WORDS! RELAX YOUR EYEBALLS WITH THIS VIDEO
Fitzy & Wippa chat to Chris Hemsworth about a potential Dundee movie: