Denim Undies Are Now A Thing Because #Fashion
We don’t know where to begin…
A woman’s private bits are delicate, sensitive areas, deserving only of the finest silks and cottons in all the land.
Your lady parts are not - we repeat - NOT designed to withstand harsh, chafe-inducing materials such as the sandpaper of the clothing world; denim.
It’s why we wear undies under our jeans, even though we could totes get away with going commando LBH.
It’s why our undergarments are 99.9 per cent of the time NOT made out of denim.
Except for the 00.01 per cent, which are made by mega-trendy/insane French label Y/Project and pls, pls explain.
ARE THEY THEY NEW SHORT SHORTS?
ARE THEY A COSTUME?
ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO BE WORN UNDER OTHER CLOTHES?
WE DON’T UNDERSTAND.
We’re going to stop yelling at you in caps, but just know we’re still yelling in our heads.
From the wild world of fashion who brought us the viral ‘clit hammocks’ and buckle bikinis (if you don’t know what we’re talking about… we envy you) comes 2019’s fashion trend that we wish would die - denim undies.
In case you’re not horrified enough already, get this: they’re being sold for just under AU$600.
Jeans knickers. Denim under-dunders. ‘Janties’. However you describe them, this is possibly the most bizarre fashion trend this year.
Apart from the fact that they look painful AF, they’re also butt-ugly (no pun intended).
Seriously, where are we supposed to wear these? To da club? On a date? Dare we suggest it… to work? We’re yet to think of a place where these would be appropriate attire.
The painful-looking panties have five pockets (!), belt loops, zips (!!!) and come in black, classic and stone wash.
Let’s just review, shall we?
They have seams. Zippers. Hardware. They’re made out of denim.
Yeah yeah, pain is beauty and whatnot, but if we wanted chafing on our hoo-ha there are far more pleasurable ways to achieve it.
If you DON’T want chafing on your bikini line, here’s a thought: DON’T WEAR HIGH-CUT DENIM UNDIES.
End of story. Goodbye.